Do I Miss Teaching?

Boy I feel like I get asked this question a lot. So I decided that maybe it was about time to write my feelings down on paper (err.. I mean on the world wide web). Besides I think it's probably good for me to sort out all of my feelings regarding this question. So below are the things that I do and don't miss about my past career.

What I Miss:
-Being surrounded by a whole bunch of adoring students. I even loved just walking down the hallway or in the cafeteria and children that I didn't even know come up and give me a hug or say hello. Makes you feel good!
-Seeing the excitement on a student's face when they finally grasped a difficult concept or they understood something new.
-Gaining 30 new friends/children each year. You grow pretty close to those students and I always had a hard transition into the next year because I didn't want to let go of "my kids".
-Teaching Social Studies (American History). I loved most subjects (except for writing) but Social Studies was by far my favorite. I loved the simulations, projects, and most of all the appreciation and pride for our wonderful country that I tried to instill in my students. They finally truly understood why we celebrated Independence Day and the sacrifices made for our rights today. So many students complain that history is boring- but it all depends on how it is taught and it made me feel good that I was doing my best to bring it to life.
-Working with adults- sometimes it gets a little dull around the house and I crave adult interaction. I loved talking with Ruth (the secretary) and Carolyn (my principal).
-Feeling like I was keeping myself educated. I hope to start attending some classes and such to not only keep up my license but to feel like I am still learning and expanding my own mind.
-The stricter schedule of my day. I think that because I had less time at home I probably used my time better. I would maybe say the stricter schedule to my year as well? It was strange when it turned to autumn last month because it was the first time in 20 years that I did not return to a school setting in the fall.
-The excitement of starting a new school year. I always had grand ideas of ways that I wanted to improve my classroom that next year. Most of them were forgotten by the third week of school when the craziness kicked in- but nonetheless it was exciting and motivating.
-Most definitely the paycheck. Not saying that I got paid well- but it's hard to see any of it go.
-Working with Amy Flynn (a fellow 5th grade teacher). She moved the year before I left so I don't know if this really counts but she definitely became a kindred spirit during hard times.

What I Do NOT Miss:
-The stress. There was always too much to do and not enough time. I always felt like I was letting something slip, but without devoting my entire life to teaching I had to let go at some point.
-Correcting papers. Grades. Report Cards. Oftentimes my evenings were ruined (and unpaid) trying to stay on top of grades.
-Parent Teacher Conferences. Enough said.
-Bad behavior or trying everything possible to motivate a student who could care less.
-Working with careless parents. It was heartbreaking to see some of my students fail purely because their parents didn't care.
-Working with some people that were impossible to please and inconsiderate to almost everyone around them. This was a biggie for me. When I get frustrated with Palmer I just remember what I could be dealing with and then I feel much better.
-Feeling inadequate. I knew I was a good teacher and my students scored well on end of year tests but I always felt like I was shorting them on something. Every teacher excelled in one or two categories. But I wanted to excel in all of them. Once again it comes down to the too much to teach and not enough time.

For the most part I just really don't even think about teaching. It almost seems like that was a whole different life of mine and now Palmer is my life. Do I wish I were back? Sure there are things that I miss and can't get in any other setting but for the most part I am happy with where I am right now. As I read through my list I realize that I still feel many of those emotions and can get those same highs & lows with just being a mom. I get to see the excitement on Palmer's face as he learns how to do a new trick. I get to have my child love and adore me every day (and of course I love and adore him right back). As my children grow up I can teach them the importance of our country, take them on field trips, and volunteer in their classroom. At the same time, I feel those feelings of inadequacy. Am I doing enough? It seems like some moms are so much better than I am but I have to remember that we all have our strengths and weaknesses. The stress of my day is different now but I still feel that there are so many things I would love to accomplish but somehow it just doesn't get done (make my own bread, become a better bargain/coupon shopper, study my scriptures more, exercise, etc.). I guess that's just life, huh?

Basically I loved teaching and I love being a mom, but I can't imagine doing both. Those hard nights when neither Palmer or I sleep well- I can't even imagine having to go to work the next day. I don't even want to think about how inadequate I would feel if I had to take care of work on top of church, home, family, friends, and my own little family responsibilities. I'm sure that if I had to teach for financial reasons I would make it work (and I know many amazing moms out there who are able to do all of the above plus some) but I thank my Heavenly Father every day for knowing that working might just put me over the top and letting us find a way for me to stay home. Will I ever go back? Possibly. I kept all of my stuff if that means anything. I don't forsee it anytime in the near future but maybe down the road I might get the itching to return. Who knows?